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It all started three years ago when I was still at school

Posted on 17 July 2010

It all started three years ago when I was still at school. I met Ian when I was studying for my A-levels; he was working in a local pub I’d never met anyone like him before He’d lived in London and France, and worked as a DJ He loved skiing and had lots of exciting friends. He was good-looking, too – tall and blond with very striking brown eyes.
I realised quite early on that he could act strangely. One evening he stormed out of the pub saying I was ignoring him, then came back an hour later, very upset and shouting that his friend had been killed in an horrendous car crash. I felt guilty and went home with him and he flipped completely, smashing up his room. Six months later I found out that the “dead” friend was living down the road from us.I suppose I thought he would change, and after we’d been together for about a year I moved in with him. My parents tried to talk me out of it, but I was determined and wouldn’t listen.

At first things were fine, but slowly it became obvious that he would lose control whenever he’d been drinking, and he started being violent towards me It started with an occasional slap round the face. The first time it happened I was horrified and just couldn’t believe it, I even thought it could somehow have been an accident He’d apologise and go out and get flowers and chocolates. But then there were much worse attacks, where he’d hold me against the wall and even threaten me with a carving knife. What finally made me decide to leave was when he came home very drunk, put his hands round my throat and tried to strangle me. Luckily, he passed out before I did.I wanted to make a new start and accepted a place at university, thinking I’d be able to leave the whole mess behind me I deliberately didn’t let Ian know where I was going But he found out where I was from a friend.

At first I got a couple of letters saying how much he missed me, and I ignored them. Then one day, quite soon after the beginning of term, he just turned up. I’d been out, and I got back to the university halls quite late, at about midnight. My friend said, “There’s a funny bloke sitting over there,” and I looked over and it was Ian, slumped in a chair.It should have clicked with me immediately that he was drunk, and I should never have let him come up to my room. At first he was all, “Oh wow, it’s brilliant, I’ve found you”. Then he noticed I was wearing leather trousers – which meant, to him, that I must be on the pull He went completely crazy.

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